Butterflies

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I just had a revelation of sorts…

So, I hate compliments but I also love them and crave them and covet them at the same time, much like many other girls (and boys) I know.  But since I don’t have much of a social life online or out, I receive them pretty much never.  So I have found another way to satisfy my cravings for niceties:  I give them to other people!  This makes almost no sense to my selfish self, but DANG it works.  It makes people happy.  And it makes me feel fucking magical.

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I live on less than $10-$14 per day. That’s still luxury.

I just realized that this pic makes it look like this is my daily intake or something, hah!  No no, this is about two weeks worth of shopping, more or less.

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iDream

So, I just had this incredibly lengthy dream.  I don’t remember much of it, but it was insanely long-winded and detailed.  I mean, cue the Inception theme, there were layers of dreams within the dream! …not that I remember them by now…

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I have no idea how I managed to successfully invite him with my non-existent social skills, but I think I appealed to his current predicament of hunger (blame the #belowtheline project for this) and invited him over to tea and this feast-for-kings table of goodies I had made by myself.  But I don’t remember this part, actually.  It has only been over an hour since I woke up, and it is all disappearing so rapidly that I can barely hold on to the little tidbits.

Anyway, we ended up talking about a lot of odd-ends, from Shakespeare & crime novels to social issues & first world problems.  It was so nice, having such a smart person willingly talking to me in a way that did not feel degrading or superior.  And we just kept on talking, and I kept “waking up” now and then and realize that “I am talking to HIM!” and trying not to swoon or gush or even let him know that I knew all too well who he really was. (I`m not too sure if he realized that or not.  It’s fuzzy, but I think I pretended not to know him as well as I (and you guys) do, just his work, etc.)

Also, I think he was behaving like my subconscious wanted him to, because he was all touchy-feely and constantly in contact with me.  He dragged me down on the couch once, under his very comfortable arm, and trapped my legs over his lap because he thought I needed to calm down and didn’t need to bring snacks like I was going to.  And I was just thinking “I am not gonna move away from this, holy crap!” and trying to figure out what the hell was happening.

It wasn’t really romantic in any way (and for some reason my subconscious kept insisting that he wasn’t single?) but it was really nice.  Like a really close friend, who knows your personal space limits but keeps challenging them. …Who you totally have a crush on.  And really wants to snuggle up to.  And never leave.

I don’t remember any more.  When I started writing there was this whole scenery of details in my mind, but it’s gone by now. We talked a frikkin’ LOT, but I don’t remember what happened after, except that he left for work and thanked me for the tea and I tried meanwhile to find reasons to keep him there without being creepy.  And then I woke up within the dream, and thought it was all a real memory, and tried writing it down.  Within the dream!

Then it goes completely fuzzy, like a television screen.

To sum up:

Lots of talking, him more than me.  Nothing romantic or rated happened, but it was all really up close and personal.  Food, a couch, a television no one cared about, trapped halfway on his lap and never wanting to leave.  His hair was his natural blond curls, not dark or short.  And he smelled perfect.  Just F-ing perfect.

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Sunny Snow Cloud

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05.04.13

I`m gonna watch Wallander for the first time.  The British Wallander, mostly because of a certain someone.  I`ll try to marathon through the three first episodes in a row. It’s my first time (though I have seen & read the Swedish ones long ago) and I shall of course live-blog in between the intermittent screams of excitement and yawns of boredom that I can currently foretell.  Gird your loins, for there will be ladyboners all over the place!

But not just yet, I`ll rather make one big post than several little tidbits of repetitive squealing and descriptive clawing at the screen.

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Home-sunning

Between 5 and 6 pm, the sun is angled perfectly.

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